Date Night Planning Tug-of-War?

“What do you want to do tonight?”
“I don’t know, what ever you want to do.”
“I want to do what you want.”
“I don’t want to make a decision.”

The Churning of the Ocean of Milk
The Churning of the Ocean of Milk, photo by Mark Alexander
Sometimes making a decision can be a passive-aggressive tug-of-war for a married couple who are trying to balance the needs of the other, themselves, and even just fighting the doldrums of doing the same thing because it’s “what we always do.”

Date Nights can be planned as a couple, or at least discussed as a couple, but they don’t have to be that way. Many of us find that the best way to get some variety is to take turns planning (and even paying for) your date nights.

This gives an opportunity to inflect more of “you” into your choice of entertainment or meal (or no meal). Let your date learn and more deeply understand what you like, not just revisit what works for you as a couple. Sharing your interests and even finding new interests together is the ultimate goal here.

Taking turns makes it fair and spreads out the responsibility. You never want date night to be avoided, feared, or a hassle. Plan in advance, get reservations and know that you’re free to enjoy your spouse without worry of managing the next date.

Fear giving up some control? Don’t worry, your week is next.

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